Hey Girl

I am trying to understand life and people..
you sometimes bump into some people or persons or just a person..
you find you in her
and one day comes and you realize
she finds null in you.
she just been polite to you and hanging around with you to not to make you feel terrible or for some reasons that you can never understand but not any reason that makes you valuable than any person she meets eye to eye for a second on the street on the pedestrian way..

I still am not sure is it sad or what?
I dont know and I am not sure if there is anything more that opened greater holes in me..

I was sure and did know that life was a mixture of pain mostly and little happiness. but was not expecting that..
friends you call them. but they do not care about your feelings.
Another one you think you like him a lot. you feel yourself comfortable and happy around accuses you with things you dont even understand why
kinda swears to you.

One thing I really never understand about this life is why cant we share love life and happiness in this world. Why dont we use words that will make each other happier and words that will make each other more confident and perfect about themselves. Why do we criticise each other especailly the ones we love.. ı do that time to time but I instantly try to correct when ı realize it..

life is really way too short. And living it with people you respect in an environment you will get respect in return would have been orgasmic.
I think I am such a huge dreamer..
There is no world as I imagine and people are basicly cruel and feed themselves and grow on other peoples weaknesses..
well what can I say sad
really sad..
so sad that I am really gonna cry now..
I really would have wanted a simpler world where I am loved by the ones I love so much.
so much that I can take a bullet for them..
so sad.
everything is so sad. I have never been a person to ask more from people what they can give - except for special a few reasons that I really wanted to try - and maybe even ı know that ı would not get love in return but been liked would be enough for me too. but..

so sad.
so sad
so sad
damn that is sad